Bit of a strange one on today’s Engaging Marketeer, we have the person who coached Darren on doing a TEDx talk, Cat Williams. She was the coach for all of the TEDx speakers on that event as she was also a TEDx speaker herself as well as being a speaking coach and a professional speaker.
In this podcast, Darren and Cat discuss how she got into professional speaking, what happened when she did her TEDx talk, what she’s doing with her business right now and what she considers the importance of storytelling within marketing.
The full podcast is available now on all platforms but here are some key talking points.
How Cat’s job as a physiotherapist taught her about perception
Darren: As you’ve mentioned, you’re obviously very big on stories and speech and how it sells and how people engage with that. What got you into that, how early in your life did you understand that was important?
Cat: Well there’s lots of examples but the one that comes to mind, what a lot of listeners won’t know, even if they’ve ever crossed me before is that I began as a physiotherapist. So when I say the stories that we tell ourselves are so important the reason for that is I was in an orthopaedic ward, after I’d graduated. And all the way down one side of the ward where people with knee replacements and all the way down the other were people with hip replacements. I realised very quickly that the reason I only survived as a physiotherapist for 14 months was because what instantly fascinated me was what was going on above the neck. I’d spent three years learning all about what was below the neck, obviously the brain and the nerves. However the story that people were telling themselves, in those hospital beds, could be an entirely different one from the next, even though their injury the operation they’d had was the same. What I realised very quickly is, I’m a psychologist really here.
The words that I use to motivate people have to match the story that they’re telling, for example, one person would say “Oh here she is, the physio terrorist! Oh it’s going to hurt, leave me alone I don’t want to do it today” and I’d think how interesting they see me as the physio terrorist.
Because it was my job to decide when they were released, released sounds like prison, but I was the person that signed the discharge. It’s the physio not the consultant, he’s done his job.
Whether you go home or not is down to me. Can you function? Can you walk the distance of the ward? Can you climb stairs? Are you going to be able to get in and out of your car?
So I thought you’re going to be in an extra five days because you’re telling yourself that I’m unhelpful to you. Whereas, of course, the other person would be going “Yes, what is it you want me to do?” So as we go on to understanding what I do now, it actually began with that frustration and mindset is everything, the words that people are using is everything, how are they describing themselves and their situation, how are they describing me.
How Cat made the transition away from being a “Physio Terrorist”
Darren: So where did you go from there then, how did you stop being a physio terrorist?
Cat: Well that goes into the story of the military life. So a moment that that was very real for me, I’d already been a therapist, I went out of the NHS world and entered the therapy world. But there was a moment in time, going back to 2012, I’m living up in Inverness and I’m standing in in the kitchen of an army quarter and if anyone’s ever been in army quarters, or anything to do with the military, they’re all painted the same colour. So they’re all the same inside and you’re living on what’s called a patch, all the houses are the same and I’ve chosen this life of a military wife because I thought I knew what to expect, but I’m really not feeling confident.
And at the corner of my eye is a splash of red on the kitchen wall, that I’ve put there, and it’s this poster that says “Keep calm and carry on” but I’m like, “Who the hell put that there? I am not calm” because my husband’s on the front line in Afghanistan and I know that I’ve got seven months of 24 hours a day not knowing if the knock on the door is going to be the army chaplain saying he’s not coming home.
Those that are listening hopefully can relate to this, that there can be situations that people are sharing but the difference between how they ride through the ashes or are destroyed by it is quite interesting.
So I was already a counsellor, qualified through the army but I had some fellow military wives kind of self-medicating through this, they just took themselves to bed or just kind of zoned through it somehow and others that seem to be thriving and I was not sure how to cope with it.
So I started interviewing and picking up lots of tips and strategies and thinking what’s the secret to just coping with whatever life throws at you. I was writing all this and then I realised I was almost writing a book. And then I thought, could this be a book? Could this support other people?
But then, coming to the point of holding ourselves back, I got in my own way and then come the mind monkeys saying “Who am I to write a book?” “You’re not an author, it wouldn’t be good enough” “Who do I think I am?” Secondly, I just don’t have the time. I had two small children aged five and two, I’m living up in the Highlands, I’ve got enough going on, I haven’t got time to write a book. And thirdly, it wouldn’t be good enough anyway.
Until I saw an interview with Eddie Izard on the TV and he was doing the sports relief challenge of 30 marathons in 30 days and he said he knew that he’d have to get out of his own way, that it would be his mind that would talk him out of completing this challenge far more than his body. He was talking about the power of the mind and explained how the mind’s job is to keep you safe and alive, so I’ve got to give it the instructions. He also knew that it only works in pictures and words, so he had to see himself crossing every line, see himself taking every step in order for his mind to accept that that was possible. And he knew that the mind doesn’t like what’s unfamiliar, so if he could make it familiar, he could achieve it.
This was the story I was telling myself. “I can’t do this. This is painful. This is unfamiliar to me. I can’t be an author because I’ve never done it before.” And that took me on a journey of understanding how it is very important to be the leader of your own mind, otherwise it leads you.
So it then took me on a on a journey. The book came out a year later, I did write that book based on the keep calm and carry on poster, “Stay calm and content. No matter what life throws at you.” That then led to a TEDx talk, which led to becoming more of a speaker, which led to me going on more of a development journey as a therapist and a speaker and it ultimately brought me here today.
Becoming a TEDx speaker
Darren: You mentioned the TEDx talk that you did, what made you want to do that because it’s a frightening thing to do.
Cat: It’s very frightening, again going right back if I’m honest I’ve always known there’s a performer in me. Part of my clinical hypnotherapy training is actually going back to happy moments, a lot of what I help people with is releasing them from their fears and part of that is identifying what energises you the most.
So coming back to the TEDx in a second, but I take people back to when their fears weren’t there. None of us are born with fears so the opposite of that is, when did you feel most alive and energised? And strangely, under some of my own like practice therapy sessions, I went back to this strange memory where I was having lipstick put on my nose and I thought it’s very odd. I was four years old, the primary school teacher is putting lipstick on my nose and it’s because I’m Rudolph in the Christmas play.
It’s always about feelings what’s going in the body, and I’m like I feel absolutely amazing, I feel absolutely energized! I’m going to be the main part, I’m going to stand on the stage and I’m going to love it.
So I could tell you a different version of accidentally ending up with a TEDx talk but the truth is I knew I belong on the stage, I just hadn’t really had that opportunity, the door wasn’t opened for me, it kept being closed in my face but if I go back to being a four-year-old I was like “I love it, that’s where I want to be” so I did just take those opportunities and gradually make that familiar. So I just said yes and thought something is telling me I need to take this opportunity, even though I’m not ready.
Darren: And did you have to apply for the TEDx talk or was it a case of “I want you to do this”
Cat: So it was a phone call one day, a fellow of counselling colleague of mine back then, she saw this poster and said “Cat I think you should be one of the speakers.” So I just rang the number she gave me and they said sure! This is a long time ago and I know anyone watching this now, that’s done a tedx, would probably say that’s not how it works now.
But we met through the TEDx Chester and that’s part of my story, coaching on that TEDx event consisted of having a microphone put on me and told where to stand, that was it. There was no audition, I just practiced over and over in my conservatory on my own, turned up there that was it.
Darren: How did you feel not having any training, or was it was it the fact that you didn’t know any different because obviously you hadn’t done one before?
Cat: I didn’t know any different, my husband is still in the military, he’s an army officer so he travels a lot. And he’d picked up a book that said “Talk like Ted” in an airport lounge and so I gave that a bit of a read, watched some TED talks and thought “I can do that!”
I look back now with horror, I’m half proud of it but like you said, JK Rowling wasn’t an author before she was an author. So I’m proud of just going for it, we’ve all got to start somewhere. If I did a TEDx now, it would be a lot better hopefully.
Darren: You said you’re half proud of it. What about it would you do differently or were you not happy with?
Cat: You can see the nerves I suppose, the self-doubt. The work that I do now, helping people to release the limiting beliefs, when I watch that I can see the limiting thoughts and beliefs that are there that are shown in my shallow breathing, holding myself very stiffly.
So I’m proud of the message I’m conveying, proud of doing everything in that moment but we’re born with natural confidence so I help people to set that free and you can see that I’m held back.
About Cat Williams:
Cat is a public speaking coach who assists people with improving their lives through speeches, seminars and talking therapies. She regularly contributes with mental health and relationship topics for podcasts, articles and media for the BBC and ITV.
Cat’s TEDx Talk: https://youtu.be/0zULlOjSs0I?si=-4FL11NbvHWnLGU7
Connect with Cat:
Website: https://www.cat-williams.com/about
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catstaycalm/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StayCalmandContent
Twitter: https://twitter.com/catstaycalm
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/catwilliamshrp/
About your host:
Darren has worked within digital marketing since the last century, and was the first in-house web designer for video games retailer GAME in the UK, known as Electronics Boutique in the States. After co-founding his own agency, Engage Web, in 2009, Darren has worked with clients around the world, including Australia, Canada and the USA.
iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/engaging-marketeer/id1612454837
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darrenjamieson/
Engaging Marketeer: https://engagingmarketeer.com
Engage Web: https://www.engageweb.co.uk
