Darren Jamieson [00:00]
On this week’s episode of The Engaging Marketeer, I’m going to talk about something completely different to marketing. Well, actually I say that. It is relevant to marketing because it is a way that you can destroy your own brand. Completely destroy your brand very, very quickly.
I’ve seen over the years quite a few people who are in business and they’ll say something on social media that’s their own personal beliefs, and it causes a problem. Maybe they’ll come out with some outlandish comment that could be considered sexist, discriminatory, racist, whatever, and it affects their business as well. It bloody should.
Darren Jamieson [00:39]
So what this is about—let me start from the beginning. I’m a trustee for a charity, right? So this is a bit of a story here. I’m a trustee for a charity called Wirral Mencap. And Wirral Mencap is based in Birkenhead, and they help adults with learning disabilities.
They help them in life. They help them with education, with socialising, with taking them out to events, that kind of thing. So they have a good quality of social activity and life and training for all the kind of stuff that other people might take for granted.
Darren Jamieson [01:20]
And before I started working with Wirral Mencap, I was not aware of a lot of the casual discrimination that exists within the world. I was not aware that this sort of stuff happened. And I may well have done something myself and not been aware of it.
For example, if an adult with learning disabilities is out on the street with someone helping them, and they’re walking down the road, quite often somebody will walk past and they will address the person that’s with them, rather than themselves.
Darren Jamieson [02:01]
They don’t speak directly to them. They don’t make eye contact with them. They address the other person. And that is a form of discrimination because they don’t think that person is going to react to them. So they don’t look at them directly and don’t talk to them directly. And that’s the kind of thing I was never really aware of. And now I am, and I see it, and I point it out and try to help wherever I can.
Darren Jamieson [02:35]
Now, that to one side, I am also, as many people will know, a bit of a nerd. Bit of a geek. I go to conventions. I go to a Transformers convention in particular. I go to Comic-Con. I go to movie and memorabilia conventions. I pay to get autographs and photographs with celebrities and voice actors.
I’ve got loads of pictures with different actors from sci-fi shows over the years, and I’ve paid ridiculous amounts of money to do that, and I don’t really want to think about all that right now because that’s very expensive.
Darren Jamieson [03:14]
But one of the conventions I go to is a Transformers convention. The Transformers conventions I’ve been going to since 2001, I think, was my first one. So this is 2025 now. We’re talking, what’s that, 24 years? I’ve got almost a quarter of a century I’ve been going to Transformers conventions, at least once a year, somewhere around the UK.
Darren Jamieson [03:45]
And the Transformers community is pretty well regarded as being very inclusive. It’s a very inclusive community. There are people of all types of ability, disability. There are people of multiple genders. There are people who have multiple sexual orientations. There are people who are trans. There are people who are bi.
It’s a very inclusive community. There’s no judgement. There doesn’t appear to be a lot of judgement—except in some cases.
Darren Jamieson [04:22]
And this is one of the cases I encountered very recently, because it seems that there are levels of discrimination within even inclusive communities such as this that are acceptable. And that worries me. Because it’s almost a case of: it’s okay to have a go at these kinds of people, but not others. This is okay. This is acceptable.
Darren Jamieson [04:52]
And this stemmed from a Facebook group. A Facebook group about people that are going to this particular Transformers convention. There’s a few hundred people in this group. Maybe five, six hundred people. Not all of them are going to the convention. Some have been before, some are going now.
It’s important to point out that this is not an official group. This is not an official group run by the convention itself. It’s administered by one of the people attending the conventions.
Darren Jamieson [05:29]
And there was a fairly innocuous post put in the unofficial convention group. A fairly innocuous post, which was about the hygiene habits of attendees of conventions.
It was a meme of somebody at a convention holding up a placard that read, “If you can afford to attend a convention, you can afford deodorant.”
Darren Jamieson [05:58]
Seems fair enough, right? At first glance, it does. Because if you go to conventions, there tends to be a lot of people there. It tends to be hot. There can be a lot of smells. That’s fine.
And the comment was: “Friendly reminder, attendees—bring deodorant.” Seems harmless.
Darren Jamieson [06:27]
But as the comments started coming in, it became clearer there was more going on. People were saying some attendees don’t shower. Some don’t use deodorant. And I thought, well, that’s starting to cross a line.
Yes, it’s fair to say please be hygienic, but not everyone who has a smell issue doesn’t shower. Not everyone who smells is dirty. And by posting jokes like this, you make people feel awkward and anxious.
Darren Jamieson [07:04]
Especially those with anxiety or who worry about their own body. These jokes feed that. So I commented, saying it didn’t seem very friendly. “Remember not to body shame anyone. Some people do struggle with this,” I said. I mentioned how the hotel air con often doesn’t work, so the rooms are going to be hot and uncomfortable anyway.
Darren Jamieson [07:36]
Then someone came in and replied with: “I’m not body shaming. Loads of attendees say people don’t shower or use deodorant.” That’s the problem. “Loads of attendees say” doesn’t mean it’s true. Unless you’ve followed someone for 72 hours, you don’t know that. You don’t know if they’ve showered or not. It’s an assumption—and it’s a harmful one.
Darren Jamieson [08:10]
By saying that, you’re implying someone smells because they’re dirty. And that’s not always the case. It could be a medical issue. It could be anxiety. It could be a stoma bag. You just don’t know.
So to joke about that in a public group and make them feel like the punchline—that’s not okay. That’s discrimination.
Darren Jamieson [08:44]
This is supposed to be an inclusive fanbase. One where we don’t discriminate, we don’t mock, we don’t poke fun at people for being different—whether they’re disabled, LGBTQ+, or anything else. Yet suddenly it’s okay to make fun of someone who smells?
Darren Jamieson [09:16]
Let’s be real—it’s a summer convention, in August, with hundreds of people packed into one space. It’s going to get hot. It’s going to smell. That’s normal. You can’t just single someone out and say, “Ah, they stink. They haven’t showered.” You don’t know that.
Darren Jamieson [09:44]
So I made this point. I said, “How do you know? Someone smelling of body odour doesn’t mean they haven’t showered or used deodorant.” In the same way that someone standing up doesn’t mean they’re able-bodied.
I gave an example about myself—no one can tell just by looking that I have scoliosis. My spine is twisted. If I stand for too long, I’m in pain. If I sit on a train and someone older is standing, I get judged.
Darren Jamieson [10:22]
It’s not obvious. So yes, remind people to be hygienic, but don’t assume someone smells because they’re lazy or dirty. Then this guy comes back and says, “I never assumed anything.” But he did. He assumed smelling equals no shower, no deodorant. That’s the assumption.
Darren Jamieson [10:51]
This went on. And I’m going to name him because I think it matters. His name’s Chris Gaunt. He’s a Transformers fan. And he thinks it’s okay to pick on people who might smell. I didn’t realise when I was explaining all this that I was basically arguing with a child.
Darren Jamieson [11:18]
He came back with: “Why are you so butthurt? I’m guessing you stink and feel attacked.” I thought, I’m literally arguing with a f***ing child. Then he blocked me from the group, made another post accusing me of attacking him, and when loads of people defended me—he deleted it.
Darren Jamieson [11:46]
And since then, people have messaged me privately. One person who is disabled thanked me for standing up for them. Someone else said, “I’ll keep supporting you until I get banned too.” Which was actually nice to hear.
Darren Jamieson [12:10]
But the more I thought about it, the more I realised how serious this is. What if someone in that room has a stoma bag? Statistically, someone probably does. Imagine how they feel hearing someone say, “God, someone stinks—clearly not showering.”
Darren Jamieson [12:39]
They’re going to panic. “Is that me? Can they smell something?” It feeds anxiety. It makes people afraid. This is a medical condition—why should they feel humiliated for it?
Darren Jamieson [13:04]
So no, you don’t get to post jokes like that and act like it’s harmless. You don’t get to publicly laugh at people because you assume they don’t wash. You’re not helping. You’re bullying.
Darren Jamieson [13:29]
And it gets worse when you consider this guy—the one doing the mocking—is himself a nerd. Just like me. He plays with plastic robots. I play with plastic robots. And somehow, even within that nerd hierarchy, he feels he can look down on others.
Darren Jamieson [13:58]
It’s like once someone gets a bit of status, they pull the ladder up behind them and start punching down. That’s what he’s doing. Picking on people he sees as “below” him. And eventually, someone else will do it to him. “Oh, look at him—he’s a grown man buying toys. Let’s laugh at him.”
Darren Jamieson [14:27]
This is how it works. And it really f***ing bothers me. This whole attitude of casual cruelty, casual mockery, casual bullying.
Darren Jamieson [14:50]
You think it’s harmless. You think it’s funny. But what you’re doing is showing the world exactly who you are. You’re someone who’s willing to damage your reputation, and others, just to get a cheap laugh in a Facebook group you moderate.
Darren Jamieson [15:17]
And of course, because he owns the group, he acts like the king of his little castle. He controls the narrative. He deletes the posts that make him look bad. Then he posted again with what looked like an apology.
Darren Jamieson [15:42]
“Hey, what happened over the last 24 hours was unacceptable. Let’s look forward to the next weekend together.” Sounds okay, doesn’t it? Sounds like someone taking responsibility.
Darren Jamieson [16:06]
But it wasn’t. He didn’t admit he was wrong. Someone else commented saying, “You said nothing wrong. That post gets made every year.” Oh great—so three or four people mocking others every year makes it acceptable?
Darren Jamieson [16:29]
That’s the logic? “Well, others did it too, so I can.” What kind of schoolyard crap is that? If three or four people are being cruel every year, maybe it’s time someone told them to stop.
Darren Jamieson [16:53]
Then he wraps it up with, “There was drama. It’s dealt with. Just a reminder to bring deodorant. Someone got overly offended.” That someone is me. Apparently, I’m overly offended by people being publicly shamed for medical conditions.
Darren Jamieson [17:22]
People start jumping in with the “You okay hun?” posts. “Chris, mate, you alright?” “Tell us what happened.” He replies, “Someone went off on one, labelled me as discriminatory. I lost my temper.”
That’s not an apology. That’s not accountability. That’s a tantrum.
Darren Jamieson [17:51]
So why am I recording this episode? Not just to rant. Not just to call out one person. But to make it clear—this behaviour is not okay. This is casual discrimination. This is online bullying. And it needs to stop.
Darren Jamieson [18:20]
You don’t get to pick on people who seem “beneath” you and laugh it off. Help people. Support them. Don’t be the reason someone feels anxious at an event they’ve looked forward to all year.
Thank you for listening. I’ll catch you on the next episode.
