Darren Jamieson: So, today on The Engaging Marketeer, I wanted to talk about how to do business networking when you actually don’t like business networking. Because, I’ll be honest with you—I don’t. It’s not something I’ve ever really enjoyed doing, at least not in the conventional sense of what networking is.
But when you’re in business for yourself, you need to drum up business, get clients, and build your network because you don’t necessarily know the right people. So, networking is one of the first things you try—going out to pubs, bars, restaurants, hotels, and other networking events, meeting other business owners, and telling them what you do, hoping they’ll become your clients.
For a lot of people, particularly those in service-based businesses, this is the first thing they try. But the vast majority of people who do this are absolutely rubbish at it. Because none of us are trained to do it. None of us have a natural ability to do it until we go out, make mistakes, and learn what works.
[01:23]
Darren Jamieson: We all go out, try business networking, and often, it’s a complete disaster. I remember one of my very first business networking events when we set up Engage Web back in 2009. We went to a networking event at a local pub called The Chimneys near our base in Ellesmere Port. It was the usual setup—around 25 or 30 business owners standing around with their business cards, hoping to find new clients.
There were three or four accountants, three or four financial advisers, and three or four web designers—all of us expecting to hand out business cards and pick up new clients. Because that’s how we all assume networking works, right? You meet people, hand out cards, and suddenly, you have clients.
Wrong. That’s not how networking works.
[03:15]
Darren Jamieson: We quickly learned that nobody at these events cares how much experience you have or how long you’ve been doing what you do. They just don’t care. And that’s the first lesson you need to learn about networking—nobody cares about your experience, your background, or your portfolio. They care about what’s in it for them.
To make matters worse, the organizer of the event, who was in digital marketing, literally turned away from me when she found out what we did. No pleasantries, no acknowledgment—just walked off. To this day, she still blanks me whenever I see her. And that was my first real taste of business networking.
We left that event with no new clients, no meaningful connections, and a sense of time completely wasted. Over the next few years, we went to Chamber of Commerce events, business shows, and other networking meetings—all with the same result. Handing out business cards, trying to sell ourselves, and getting absolutely nothing in return. And I absolutely hated it.
[06:25]
Darren Jamieson: One of the worst parts of networking for me was walking into a room full of people. It always felt like I was intruding—like everyone was thinking, Who’s this guy? And I hated trying to break into conversations. I know a lot of people feel the same way.
So, it’s understandable why many business owners think networking is a waste of time. But the mistake we all make is expecting to pick up clients at these events. That’s not how networking works.
[07:28]
Darren Jamieson: If you go into a networking event trying to sell to the room, you’re wasting your time. The people in that room are not there to buy from you; they’re there to promote their own business. If everyone is trying to sell, then who is actually buying? Nobody.
The key to networking is not selling to the room—it’s about making connections for other people. If you can connect people with others who are valuable to them, they will see you as someone worth knowing.
[09:05]
Darren Jamieson: Here’s how you do it: When you meet someone at a networking event, don’t try to sell to them. Instead, ask them where most of their business comes from. Who are their main sources of referrals?
For example, if you meet a mortgage broker, they might tell you they get most of their leads from accountants, financial advisors, estate agents, or letting agents. Your job is to think, Do I know someone in that space? If you do, offer to introduce them.
[10:30]
Darren Jamieson: And here’s the tricky bit—the follow-up. Most people fail at networking because they don’t follow up. If you promise to introduce someone, do it. Send that email, make that call. Because networking only works when you take action afterward.
A great trick to getting referrals is asking, How would you rate your current provider on a scale from 1 to 10? Almost nobody ever says 10. If they say 7 or 8, follow up with, What would they have to do for you to give them a 10? That’s when they’ll start listing all the things they don’t like about their current provider—giving you the perfect opening to introduce them to someone better.
[15:56]
Darren Jamieson: One final tip for those who hate networking: Get there first. If you’re the first one in the room, you never have to experience that awkward moment of walking into a packed room. Instead, you’re already there. People come to you. This makes networking so much easier for introverts.
[17:33]
Darren Jamieson: So, that’s my advice on networking for those who hate it. Don’t try to sell. Focus on helping others make connections, and they’ll remember you for it.
If you found this useful, please leave a five-star review on iTunes or drop a review on Google Business. Thanks for listening, and I’ll catch you in the next episode!
