My Next Target For Online Warfare Has Been Identified…

[00:03] This week on The Engaging Marketeer, I’m probably going to get myself into some serious trouble. The reason? I want to talk about companies that have shoddy operating procedures, particularly how they deal with customers and handle situations when things go wrong.

Yes, something has happened recently. I’m currently in the midst of dealing with it, and I’ll probably go to war over it, much like I’ve done in the past. For those of you who don’t know, I run several online platforms – let’s call them websites and social media accounts – that I set up specifically because of incidents that annoyed me. These platforms have been running ever since.

[00:56] Let me give you an example. Many years ago, in 2007, I ordered something on Amazon. It was a simple Transformers Starscream Nerf blaster. It’s a toy that turns into a plane and fires Nerf darts. Along with that, I ordered an ACA mini laptop. Both items were being delivered by Yodel – or, as it was known back then, Home Delivery Network.

The delivery person lobbed the package over an 8-foot garden fence in the pouring Manchester rain. It landed in a puddle behind the fence, and it stayed there for about 12 to 16 hours before I even realized it was there. Luckily, the package contained the Nerf blaster and not the laptop.

When I discovered the state of the delivery, I filed a complaint, but as these things go, nothing significant came of it. That’s when I learned about the broader issue with this delivery service. This was apparently their standard operating procedure: throw parcels over fences.

[02:14] The same company once put a note through someone’s door stating their parcel was on the roof. Why? Because they’d tried to throw it through an open second-floor window, and it landed on the roof instead. This even made it onto Have I Got News for You and into the newspapers.

So, I set up the platform Yodel Hell. You may have come across it; just Google it, and you’ll find the website. It’s a place where people upload their horror stories and photos about Yodel. There’s also a Twitter account called @YodelHell, which retweets complaints people have about the company. This has been running for years and is still active.

Over time, it’s featured posts from angry customers and even Yodel delivery drivers who called me a “dick.” It’s also included behind-the-scenes accounts from drivers admitting to smashing parcels. It’s a lot. All of this started from one poor delivery experience.

Am I proud of it? Well, yes. Yes, I am. Because this is what I do. When I get pissed off, I go all out.

[03:13] Another example: Carphone Warehouse. I hated them. Back in 2004 – yes, that’s how long I hold grudges – I went into a Carphone Warehouse store and bought two mobile phones. A few days later, I decided I didn’t want them and returned to the store. They had big signs everywhere advertising a “14-day money-back guarantee.”

But when I tried to return the phones, they said the guarantee didn’t apply to phones. What else did they sell, if not phones? Accessories? Their entire business revolves around phones! I eventually escalated the issue to their head office, which confirmed the store manager was wrong. I got my refund, but by then, I’d already written about it on my blog.

[04:16] Over the years, I’ve had plenty of run-ins with Carphone Warehouse employees. One even pretended to be a customer and left a glowing comment about the company on my blog – but she used her official Carphone Warehouse email address. I could see her email address in the comment, so I exposed her. That’s the kind of stuff I do.

Don’t even get me started on Direct Line Insurance or Royal Sun Alliance. I’ve recorded phone calls and videos of my dealings with them, and they both lost. When I fight, I fight to win.

[05:51] So, what’s pissed me off this time? Well, some of you may know I’ve been redeveloping a house. It’s cost me over £100,000 for a complete rewire, plastering, decoration, kitchen, bathroom, and floor restoration.

One of the standout features of the house is a parquet wood floor. It was gorgeous, and I hired one of my former clients to restore it. They did a fantastic job; it looked amazing. Of course, when tradespeople come in, they’re bound to damage it a little. But the real issue came with a furniture company.

[06:19] I’ll give you a clue about this company: they probably have a sale on right now. You know who I’m talking about. I ordered a sofa and an armchair from them. The sales process was fine. The guy even sold me the care plan in such a clever way that I respected it.

I knew the delivery would take time, so I was prepared to be without a sofa for a while. Eventually, the delivery date arrived. The delivery team assured me they’d use rubber feet on the furniture legs to protect the floor. I saw them attaching the rubber feet, but it was already too late. They’d scratched the floor.

[07:48] This wasn’t a minor scratch. It was massive. For those of you watching the video version of this podcast, I’ve included a photo of the damage. I sent this image to DFS – oh no, I’ve named them. Well, who cares? This is what I sent to DFS to show them the damage.

Now, here’s the thing: accidents happen. But how you handle them defines whether you’re a good or bad company. The delivery guy noticed the scratch, took two photos, and assured me it would be reported to head office. He said they’d contact me within 24 to 48 hours. That didn’t happen.

[09:26] I contacted DFS on social media five minutes after the delivery team left, just to ensure the issue was documented. They asked for my order number and a wider photo to provide context. I complied but mentioned the delivery guy didn’t take a wider photo. They then informed me the delivery team hadn’t reported the damage.

Apparently, because they didn’t report it, DFS wouldn’t accept liability. How was I supposed to know that the delivery team had to report it on-site? I’m not a sofa delivery expert.

[10:25] DFS’s response didn’t sit well with me. It seems their strategy involves denying liability by relying on drivers not reporting damages. Customers are left with no recourse because the drivers failed to submit evidence. I’ve seen numerous complaints on Twitter about similar issues with DFS.

[12:03] So, what are my options? I could pay for the repair myself and move on. Or I could go to war. Which option do you think I’ll choose?

[13:57] This has been an unusual episode of The Engaging Marketeer. I haven’t shared marketing advice or business tips – well, perhaps one: don’t piss off your customers. Especially not me. As Yodel, Carphone Warehouse, Direct Line Insurance, and Royal Sun Alliance have learned, I don’t take this lightly.

DFS, you’ve declared war. It won’t be pretty, and in the long run, failing to repair my floor will cost you much more than simply fixing it.

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Engaging Marketeer. Stay tuned for the next one.