Welcome to another episode of The Engaging Marketeer! This week, I’m joined by someone who made quite the impression when I first met him. Dave Christie is a business coach who delivered an amazing talk at a BNI meeting I attended. His insights on avoiding ghosting in sales were so impactful that I thought, “I need to get him on this podcast.”
Dave knows communication and sales like few others, and today, we’ll dive into some fascinating topics: the role of ego in business, how to truly connect with others, and why listening is a superpower. So, without further ado, let’s jump right in.
Darren: Dave, welcome to the podcast. Let’s kick things off with something you touched on during your talk: ego in business. What do you mean by that?
Dave: Thanks for having me, Darren. Ego in business is a fascinating topic. We all have an ego—it’s natural—but the problem arises when we let it take the driver’s seat, often without realizing it. Ego can show up in subtle ways, like dominating a conversation instead of truly listening.
For example, imagine someone shares that they’ve just been on holiday to Spain. Instead of saying, “Oh, where did you go? What was the highlight of your trip?” most people instinctively respond with their own story: “Oh, I’ve been to Spain too! I went to Barcelona, and it was amazing.” In doing so, they unintentionally make the conversation about themselves.
Darren: I’ve definitely been guilty of that! It’s such a natural reflex.
Dave: It is! But…
It’s a habit that can damage relationships over time
By making it about yourself, you miss the opportunity to connect on a deeper level.
Darren: That reminds me of an exercise I did during a training program called Ascentive. We practiced active listening without ever saying “I.” Instead of sharing our own experiences, we asked follow-up questions like, “What did you enjoy the most?” or “What happened next?” It was a real eye-opener.
Dave: That’s a brilliant exercise. Active listening is all about making the other person feel heard and valued. It’s not just about being polite—it’s a powerful skill.
One of my favorite techniques is setting a simple rule: ask two questions before sharing anything about yourself. For example, if someone says they went to Spain, your first question might be, “Where in Spain?” Then follow up with, “What was the best part of your trip?” It’s a small shift, but it makes a huge difference in how people perceive you.
Darren: What happens when people let their ego run the show in conversations?
Dave: The impact is often subtle but significant. Think about that one person in your circle who always dominates conversations. When they walk into a room, you might internally roll your eyes and think, “Oh no, not them again.” That’s the kind of negative impression an unchecked ego can create.
On the flip side, people who focus on making others feel important are the ones everyone gravitates toward. They’re the ones who brighten the room and make meaningful connections.
Darren: It sounds like ego isn’t just bad for relationships—it can also hurt your business.
Dave: Exactly. In business, if you’re always talking about yourself, your products, or your services, you risk alienating potential clients. Instead, focus on their needs and how you can solve their problems.
Darren: Let’s shift gears a bit.
Ghosting is something many business owners face
So, how do you handle it?
Dave: Great question. Ghosting is often a polite way for someone to say, “I’m not interested.” If someone stops responding after two or three follow-ups, it’s time to move on.
The problem is that our ego often convinces us otherwise. We think, “They must be interested—they just need more persuasion!” But the reality is, chasing uninterested prospects wastes time and energy that could be spent on more promising opportunities.
Darren: That’s such a valuable perspective. Sometimes, it’s better to accept a “no” and move on. Now, you’ve coached rugby in the past. What lessons from that experience apply to business coaching?
Dave: Oh, so many! In rugby, you have to communicate clearly and concisely, especially when you’re on a cold, rainy field with players who are freezing and losing focus. You have about two minutes to get your message across before they mentally check out.
The key is knowing your team. Identify your leaders, empower them to amplify your message, and adapt your communication style to resonate with everyone. The same principles apply in business. You can’t do everything yourself—you need a strong team and the humility to admit when something isn’t working.
Darren: That’s such a great analogy. Leadership isn’t about doing it all yourself—it’s about building a team that supports you. How often should businesses seek feedback from their clients?
Dave: Regularly. Feedback is a goldmine for growth, but too many businesses overlook it. Even a quick check-in call can uncover valuable insights or opportunities.
For example, a client might tell you their needs have changed, and suddenly you realize you can offer them a new service they didn’t even know you provided. Retaining clients is far cheaper than acquiring new ones, so nurturing those relationships is essential.
Darren: We’ve found the same at Engage Web. Reaching out to clients often leads to new work because they weren’t aware of everything we offer. It’s such a simple yet effective strategy. What motivates you to coach businesses?
Dave: It all goes back to my mum. She passed away when I was 20, but she had this incredible ability to uplift people. No matter how tough things were, she made everyone around her feel better. That left a lasting impression on me.
Now, I get immense satisfaction from helping business owners achieve their “aha” moments. When they take action, see results, and grow, it’s the best feeling in the world. I also dedicate a third of my time and money to charity because giving back is a core part of who I am.
Darren: You mentioned tailoring your communication style. How do you ensure your message resonates with different people?
Dave: It starts with asking how they prefer to communicate. Some people love emails, while others prefer quick voice notes or phone calls.
You also have to read the room. For example, in a presentation, some people are more visual, while others respond to data and numbers. If you don’t adapt, you risk losing their attention.
Darren: One thing I found fascinating earlier was when you said you’re willing to admit when you’re wrong. That’s rare in leadership. Why is it so important?
Dave: It’s crucial because it builds trust and fosters a culture of openness. If you can admit your mistakes, your team will feel safe doing the same. This creates an environment where people can learn and grow without fear of judgment.
Darren: Dave, this has been such an insightful conversation. For those who want to connect with you, where can they find you?
Dave: The best places are my website or LinkedIn.
Darren: Thanks so much, Dave. I’ll include those links in the show notes. It’s been a pleasure having you on The Engaging Marketeer.
Dave: Thank you, Darren. It’s been an absolute joy.
Connect with Dave:
Website: https://cheshirebusinesscoaching.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cheshirebusinesscoaching
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheshirebusinesscoaching/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dave-christiecbc/
About your host:
Darren has worked within digital marketing since the last century, and was the first in-house web designer for video games retailer GAME in the UK, known as Electronics Boutique in the States. After co-founding his own agency, Engage Web, in 2009, Darren has worked with clients around the world, including Australia, Canada and the USA.
iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/engaging-marketeer/id1612454837
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darrenjamieson/
Engaging Marketeer: https://engagingmarketeer.com
Engage Web: https://www.engageweb.co.uk
